Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
