i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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