ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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