Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
