So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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