I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize