I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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