he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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