My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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