So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You can't special order awesome
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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