Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My cat gives me a boner
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong