he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?