Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
