I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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