is your mom at the bar?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Randomize
