he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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