is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
