All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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