yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
