He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
