I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize