my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
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i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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