So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.