Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard