Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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