Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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