i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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