Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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