I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
