loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
