so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Houston, we have a blender
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
