I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize