This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
