yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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