You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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