so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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