i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
