I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I had to cum in my sink.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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