Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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