Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
