Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
