ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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