Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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