hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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