Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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