I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
