Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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