Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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