I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize