she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize