Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
