we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
