Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
