There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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