boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
