Dude my mom stole all your condoms
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
