There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it's like iHOP with fire
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Actions speak louder than pants.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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